INTRODUCTION:
UNDERSTANDING THE FRAMEWORK

“Love is a form of sweet labor: fierce, bloody, imperfect, and life giving – a choice we make over and over again. As labor, love can be taught, modeled, and practiced. “Revolutionary love” is the choice to enter into labor for others, for our opponents, and for ourselves in order to transform the world around us. It is not a formal code or prescription but an orientation to life that is personal and political. It engages all our emotions: Joy is the gift of love. Grief is the price of love. Anger protects that which is loved. And when we think we have reached our limit, wonder is the act that returns us to love.”
— Valarie Kaur

This introductory lesson complements the TED talk: Three Lessons of Revolutionary Love in a Time of Rage and invites participants to examine traditional narratives of love in contrast to the frameworks of Revolutionary Love. This lesson plan uses art and illustrations to define and creatively explore Revolutionary Love as a public ethic in service of justice.


Objectives and Learning Outcomes:

In this course, we provide a challenge and an alternative definition of love.  Rather than defining love as a feeling or private emotion, we define Revolutionary Love as a praxis: that is, as a continual and rigorous cycle of theory, action, and reflection, all of which is directed towards creating social change. This introductory session examines and defines the framework of Revolutionary Love and explores the 3 components of this practice: love for self, others, and opponents.


Materials Needed:

  • TED talk: Three Lessons of Revolutionary Love in a Time of Rage (Valarie Kaur 2018) AND/OR
  • Read “Revolutionary Love Compass” from the book See No Stranger: A Memoir and Manifesto of Revolutionary Love (Kaur, 2020)
  • A/V to view talk
  • Art materials: markers, easel paper, tape

Time needed:  

Flexible but ideally 75 minutes or longer, depending on discussion.

Start with a community energizer activity:

Ask individuals or groups:  

  • “What have you learned about love, as it was taught to you by family, friends, partners? How do you personally define love?” Using symbols, images, or phrases, illustrate what you have learned about the definition of love.

Students could discuss in pairs whatever they are comfortable sharing, before convening a larger class discussion. If time permits, you may choose to have individuals begin by freewriting about this prompt individually, then work in small groups to create a collective illustration on larger pieces of easel paper or on a chalk/white board. These illustrations can then be shared with the larger group, either by having each group present their illustration, or by arranging a “gallery walk” (posting the illustrations around the room and asking participants to view each as though viewing art in a gallery).


Questions for group discussion:

  • What did we notice about these definitions of love? What is similar and different about the definitions we wrote?
  • What kinds of love are illustrated here? (ie. romantic love, familial love, love of country, self love?)
  • In what ways and from whom have we learned what it means to love and be loved?

While watching Valarie Kaur speak, ask participants to consider the definitions and illustrations of love presented within her TED Talk.

Examples include:

  • “My life on the frontlines of fighting hate in America has been a study in what I’ve come to call revolutionary love. Revolutionary love is the choice to enter into labor for others who do not look like us, for our opponents who hurt us and for ourselves. In this era of enormous rage, when the fires are burning all around us, I believe that revolutionary love is the call of our times.”
  • “Forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiveness is freedom from hate. Because when we are free from hate, we see the ones who hurt us not as monsters, but as people who themselves are wounded, who themselves feel threatened, who don’t know what else to do with their insecurity but to hurt us, to pull the trigger, or cast the vote, or pass the policy aimed at us. But if some of us begin to wonder about them, listen even to their stories, we learn that participation in oppression comes at a cost. It cuts them off from their own capacity to love. This was my second lesson in revolutionary love. We love our opponents when we tend the wound in them. Tending to the wound is not healing them—only they can do that. Just tending to it allows us to see our opponents: the terrorist, the fanatic, the demagogue. They’ve been radicalized by cultures and policies that we together can change. I looked back on all of our campaigns, and I realized that any time we fought bad actors, we didn’t change very much. But when we chose to wield our swords and shields to battle bad systems, that’s when we saw change.”
  • “We need to practice all three forms of love. And so, how do we practice it? In order to love others, see no stranger. We can train our eyes to look upon strangers on the street, on the subway, on the screen, and say in our minds, “Brother, sister, aunt, uncle.” And when we say this, what we are saying is, “You are a part of me I do not yet know. I choose to wonder about you. I will listen for your stories and pick up a sword when you are in harm’s way.”
  • “Number two: in order to love our opponents, tend the wound. Can you see the wound in the ones who hurt you? Can you wonder even about them? And if this question sends panic through your body, then your most revolutionary act is to wonder, listen and respond to your own needs.”
  • “Number three: in order to love ourselves, breathe and push. When we are pushing into the fires in our bodies or the fires in the world, we need to be breathing together in order to be pushing together. How are you breathing each day? Who are you breathing with?”
  • “Revolutionary love requires us to breathe and push through the fire with a warrior’s heart and a saint’s eyes so that one day…one day you will see my son as your own and protect him when I am not there. You will tend to the wound in the ones who want to hurt him. You will teach him how to love himself because you love yourself. You will whisper in his ear, as I whisper in yours, ‘You are brave.’ You are brave.'”

After the film, ask participants to free write their responses to the film before engaging in the next activity. The following activity could be done as individuals or in small groups.

Prompt to individuals and groups: 

  • “In contrast to these traditional definitions of love, how would you illustrate (using images, symbols, and phrases) the frameworks of Revolutionary Love? In what ways is Revolutionary Love similar or different from the ways that you have been taught about love?”  Using symbols, images, or phrases, illustrate what you understand about the definition and frameworks of Revolutionary Love.

Note to facilitators: In a larger group, facilitators may choose to divide the room into 3 groups, and each group could illustrate one of the 3 dimensions of Revolutionary Love (love for others, love for opponents, love for ourselves). See the instructions for the community energizer above to adapt this activity for individuals and groups.

Discussion/reflection questions for the group: 

  • What are the key distinctions between love (as we have been taught, and illustrated in the first activity) and Revolutionary Love? In what ways does Revolutionary Love ask us to act that are different from the ways that love is “supposed to make us feel.”
  • Which aspect(s) of Revolutionary Love: love for others, love for opponents, and love for self are most challenging for you to practice, and why?
  • What do you think Revolutionary Love look like in practice? (Reference the Revolutionary Love Compass in the introduction to this curriculum).

For Additional Thought & Discussion

  • Revolutionary Love is not a feeling, but a labor of love.
  • Because Revolutionary Love is a framework and set of practices (rather than an emotion), it can be learned, taught, practiced, and shared.
  • Revolutionary Love requires us to attend to our joy. In a climate of anxiety and alienation, how do we cultivate wellness and even joy in our own bodies and homes?
  • Revolutionary Love is for all of us. We will center our attention and care on those members of society who are most vulnerable, and all are welcome and we invite all to join us in this praxis.

Additional resources and readings:

“REVOLUTIONARY LOVE” IS THE CHOICE TO ENTER INTO LABOR FOR OTHERS, FOR OUR OPPONENTS, AND FOR OURSELVES IN ORDER TO TRANSFORM THE WORLD AROUND US. IT IS NOT A FORMAL CODE OR PRESCRIPTION BUT AN ORIENTATION TO LIFE THAT IS PERSONAL AND POLITICAL. LOVING ONLY OURSELVES IS ESCAPISM; LOVING ONLY OUR OPPONENTS IS SELF-LOATHING; LOVING ONLY OTHERS IS INEFFECTIVE. ALL THREE PRACTICES MAKE LOVE REVOLUTIONARY, AND REVOLUTIONARY LOVE CAN ONLY BE PRACTICED IN COMMUNITY”
– VALARIE KAUR